Abba Moses the Robber the Black

I'm back, and the saga continues. :)  

X

I survived temptations,
the battering of Satan
on my mind and body.
Once four men came 
to my cell to rob me.
I beat them down,
dragged them back 
to Sketis for judgment.


I am a penitent.
It would be hypocritical
with such a past life
as mine to be the final
judge of these men.
I place them in your hands.


Moses, this is another test
you have passed.


I looked at Abbot Isidore.
The bound robbers
looked at me.
He is that Moses who was
the greatest, most feared
of thieves?
The abbot and brothers
standing there nodded.
If God changed Moses,
perhaps God can change us.
Crawling up to the abbot,
allow us to stay with you.
Confessing their polluted
lives, they too became monks.

XI


Years of spiritual struggle,
walking the graveyards of sin
in my mind, my hair
turned white like a spring cloud.
I became a priest.
One day I was called.
The issue was a brother who
had committed a great sin.
Theft, ran away, and a woman.
Sketis' only material wealth
stolen, a golden bowl.

In my madness for her,
the bowl was taken
I ran off to Alexandria.
My conscience and my
vows forced me back.


Paul, what do you say?
Alexandros, what do you say?
Michael, what do you say?
Dionysus, what do you say?
On and on.
Moses, what do you say?


I say I will leave and
come back after awhile.


In the back of the monastery,
a large basket.  I cut 
a small hole in it,
filled it with sand,
hoisted it on my back,
went inside.


This basket contains my sins
that are multitudes.
They trickle out and I 
cannot see them.
Now you ask me to judge
someone else's sins?


The brother was forgiven.


XII

Abbott Isidore awaken me early.
The roosters barely began crowing.
Come Moses with me to the roof.

Father are you preparing to toss
this old sinner from there?

Now Moses!
He grinned and lifted a skinny finger
in chastisement.


Yellow, orange, blue bands
scrolled on the horizon.
Brother Moses, the rays
of the sun creeps in
and slowly melt away the night
starting a new day.
The same way with the
contemplative life.
Trials like stormy seas.
It creeps into a life until
eventually the perfect
contemplative is born.


XIII


I am an old man now.
I feel my age for the first time.
I am thankful for the work
God weaved in me.
A man feared and hated,
led seventy bandits,
to a man respected and loved,
the spiritual father of 
seventy monks.
A new man.
The coin had flipped over
to its better side.
Only God's love and my
silent suffering and shame
could perform such a change.
All pride was destroyed and
erased in a spiritual sandstorm.
I felt humbled.


(To be continued)

Abba Moses the Robber the Black

(The continuation of my historical poem)

V

One day I went far alone without my boys.

A spirit, I did not understand drew me,

my conscience in pain, I hated myself

in this loneliness.

Why was I going out there alone?

Sketis. A colony of monks.

Oh! I hated such lambs, such easy prey.

I went there to steal what I could find.

It did have riches, but not of the material sort,

the kind I sought.

I prowled the premises, knife between my teeth.

I checked this door, that cell 

until, until, until...

I faced the abbot, a lean man

attired in a severely worn habit and mantle.

He knew who I was, KNEW my spirit.

He showed no fear, no disgust.

Only a serene love came from the calm, 

grey eyes.

I fell at his feet.

He laid his hand on my wooly head.

The wolf had become a lamb.

So it began.

So it began.

VI

So brother Moses are you sure?

Do you want to separate so soon from us?

Go alone out there?

I hardly encourage it, for are you ready

for the solitude and lack of support?

I looked in his gray eyes and said,

Father, I am ready.

Christ is sufficient.

I will not walk alone out there.

VII

I left Sketis.

Went far into the desert.

So much silence.

I was used to noise.

The vulgar jokes and songs of my old conrades

The giggles and flirting eyes of pretty, loose women.

A lone hawk seemed to follow 

and then again guide me to the destination.

The sun like a golden coin in the sky.

I found the place, built my cell,

but the water of life was too far!

I forgot that I must have water or die.

The distance to walk was far.

I lay and worried that first night

under a lapis lazuli sky,

the moon my only lamp.

Then He came to me, the hair of a Nazarite.

Olive skin, large all seeing eyes, 

a faint uni-brow. 

I knew Him immediately!

I stood on an unknown shore with sand

like gold dust.  He walked to me

on a sea of glass.  Huge wings of angels

covered the sky moving back and forth

to a heavenly song.

Holy! Holy! Holy!

Moses do not be afraid.

I awaken.

It was the first day.

VIII

I struggled with a mind long filled with sewage.

I remembered my boys.

I remembered the thrill of striking terror.

I remembered the Alexandrian prostitutes

with their bright eyes and plump bodies,

standing and beckoning before 

their fancy, low doors.

Den of thieves.

I remembered my knife drinking 

the lives of innocents.

I remembered driving off another man's

livestock and livelihood.

And I was ashamed.

Finally broken, I wept.

IX

I changed.

Jesus had mercy.

He had kept His promise.

Men no longed feared me.

They came for spiritual advice.

To sit and talk.

To drink in my words.

To witness my hospitality.

To see a feared man turned harmless.

What must we do to be good and serve God?

No man is good.

Only God is good.

We work, we pray 

to reach perfection.

It is gradual.

Sometimes we die before it is complete,

but God is merciful.

He understands the hearts of those who are evil,

but who long to be good.

He will help us.

Cooked,

cleaned,

washed the feet of others.

I no longer took from men or women.

I gave back.

Welcomed.

 

(To be continued)